Premarital Counseling: The Ultimate Guide on Relationships Before The Wedding

 

   

What Is Premarital Counseling?

Premaritala counseling is a form of psychological therapy in which the couple is helped to develop the necessary skills in handling future marital conflicts successfully and to talk about expectations in your marriage.

Premarital counseling is similar to couple and family therapy for helping the partners to get over problems, but it differs by shorter duration and limitation of therapeutic goals. Most couples turn to a premarital counselor to help them adapt more easily to the married life and to identify weak points (e.g., holding back emotions, shyness, the problem of maintaining a long-term relationship) in the relationship which could lead a future divorce

Most premarital therapists have a master’s degree, doctoral degree or have completed a post-graduate clinical training program after which most of them become a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Many newly engaged couples seek counseling from their religious leaders which can offer advice throughout the engagement. This can range from one or two meetings to an extended series of sessions.

How Premarital Counseling Can Help Your Future Marriage?

Is premarital education for you? The Answer is YES.

Think of getting married without pre-marriage guidance like starting a business without a business plan or without any marketing research. This is a FACT: Half of all married couples end up getting divorced, and many of them were happily engaged and thought they wouldn’t be contributing to these statistics. 6 states (Georgia, Florida, Maryland, Minnesota, Oklahoma and Tennessee) have passed a law that encourages couples to attend professional premarital counseling by offering reductions on marriage license fees. These laws have the purpose to reduce the divorce rate in the states where they are implemented.

By participating in several sessions of pre-marriage counseling before the big day you can reduce the risk of divorce by up to 40% and you have a better chance of having a healthy and a long lasting marriage.

Research shows that it can reduce pre-wedding stress by sharing your emotions and expectations with your future spouse and by assuring you that you’re not alone in this journey we call marriage.

Premarital counseling helps you understand your relationship better as well as make well-thought-out decisions together. Pre-marriage education is the first step you take to having the marriage and life you have dreamed of.

YOU MUST REMEMBER that each partner brings his own ideas, values and opinions and, as you might expect, they don’t always match. The counselor helps you understand that these differences can be complementary (you know the old saying that the opposites attract) and can also help you respect various views and cultures.

Discussing with the counselor about the expectations of married life and knowing potential problems that may arise in the relationship can strengthen the bond between the partners. Mutual understanding before the wedding reduces divorce risk in the first years of marriage.

No matter the cause, distress and tension in any kind of relationship can lead to physical or psychological problems which will end in having a miserable life or divorce.

WHY IS THIS NECESSARY?

  • It helps you to build a foundation for marriage
  • It prepares you for the transition from the unmarried life to the married life
  • It helps you learn the manner to express your love, to communicate effectively, to solve the problems arisen in your relationship
  • It helps you to understand if you are ready for marriage, or, on the contrary, to postpone it until the relationship will develop enough
  • It helps to create a normal environment in a marriage, to raise children
  • It helps to really know yourself, to become aware of the problems of the past, and only after solving them you can build a future together

Premarital preparation boosts your capacity, as a couple, to handle unexpected difficulties which may occur in the future. Newlyweds need every advantage to succeed in today’s society.

Things To Cover During Counseling

Here is a full list of closely related to marriage topics you must cover and discuss freely:

marriage therapy
  •     Finances
  •     Long-term Goals
  •     Communication
  •     Beliefs and values
  •     Roles in marriage
  •     Affection and sex
  •     Children and parenting
  •     Family relationships
  •     Decision making
  •     Dealing with anger
  •     Time spent together

Covering these topics helps partners to know each other better, to understand what marriage involves and to teach them to solve their conflicts without negative repercussions.

DON’T KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE A COUNSELOR, HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION:

  • Does a counseling session include a group of couples or the counselor sees a single couple at a time?
  • How many sessions does it include? (Usually a session is between 45 and 60 minutes)
  • Does the counselor help the clients complete the program successfully?
  • What topics does the premarital counselor cover during the program?
  • What is the cost? – This is an important factor to consider given that you’ll spend money on the wedding planning
  • What to expect in the first session?
  • Does the counseling focus on the engaged couples and newlyweds?

Preparing for marriage involves more planning the wedding. Take the time to build a solid foundation for your relationship so that you and your partner can have a happy, healthy and long lasting marriage.

GET READY FOR YOUR WEDDING

They don’t call it your ‘big day’ for nothing so you need to look your absolute best – for most brides to be it’s a military operation so get planning – early! My top tip would be to create a countdown diary for getting everything ready for the big day- that way you can get your ideas down on paper and work out a beauty and pampering schedule – taking the stress out of the situation.

Step 1 – Choosing the right makeup artist

Start thinking about your makeup 6 months before your wedding day and choose your makeup artist for the big day – make sure you research this properly and get a good feel from them – after all, they will be with you right up to the vows! Browse through magazines and search the internet for ideas, bear in mind these will only be ideas and the makeup artist will give you the best advice for the day.

If you want a DIY bridal makeup click here to find the right tools for a perfect application.

Step 2 – Creating the canvas

To really hydrate and soothe the skin start having facials regularly every 4 to 6 weeks, starting about 3 months before. Beautiful, clear skin is the blank canvas for great makeup. If your budget doesn’t allow for this then try to do DIY versions at home, choosing the right products for your skin type. Good skin will look gorgeous in the wedding photos and your makeup will look perfect on the big day.

Step 3 – The trial…

It’s best to have your trial run of hair and makeup about 6 weeks prior to the wedding. Tell your makeup artist the colors that you have chosen for your wedding theme so that it all ties in. If you’re not used to wearing a lot of makeup tell your makeup artist because you still want to look like yourself on the big day – just a more fabulous version!

Book the time of arrival for the makeup artist and let her know where you’ll be on the day of the wedding. If you’re not having a makeup artist book a makeup lesson and continue practicing the look at home and ask the person giving you the lesson to write everything down for you. Get a friend to take pictures so that you can see what it will look like on the day. Always take a mirror outside to check the look, indoor lighting can have a yellowing effect on the colors. If you’re doing your own makeup ensure you apply a bit more than usual for photographic reasons and don’t apply too much shimmer as the flash will pick up on this more.

Bridal makeup is individual and unique to every bride – there are no hard and fast rules but do try to be yourself and feel comfortable with what you choose for your look on the day. Have your final facial at least 1 week before the wedding so that it brings any impurities to the surface and allows time for any blemishes to calm down on the skins surface – and get your eyebrows shaped by a professional to frame your face.

On your wedding day wear a button down top, shirt or bath robe so that it doesn’t ruin your hair and makeup when you take it off. Ask your chief bridesmaid to keep your lipstick/lipgloss in their bag and carry some powder and blotting papers for touch ups.

Now you’re ready to walk down the aisle feeling beautiful.

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  1. Premarital Counseling in Austin, Texas

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    The Benefits of Premarital Counseling in Austin, Texas If engaged couples complete a licensed premarital counseling class they qualify for a $60 discount (couples normally pay $71 for a marriage license application fee) on their marriage license fee and they don’t have to wait a period of 72 hours to...
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